Why write this blog

My photo
It is a way of giving my other self, my unconscious and perhaps artistic self, a way of expressing itself, and thereby helping me working things out. It is somewhat cathartic in a positive way. :)

05 July, 2014


Today. Today may be the day I say it's over.

It has been over in reality well over a year, but I mean over over. In my head, in my mind. In my heart?

I want to be positive again, or, attempt it.

I am feeling determined. I always am in the face of adversity, money adversity especially, I can cope with that, I havey whole life an what that does is focus the mind on the minutae of daily life.

The prospect of living alone is interesting also and we'll see how I'll cope but it focus my mind on gettin the house how I want it. 

The trouble is (and I hate using the phrase because it instantly reminds me of something she used to say to me) that I'm afraid that all this focusing is simply another strategy to stop feeling...

And that is why I don't want to stop going to see you altogether Dr. RB.

But I want to change, I want it to hurt less. I'm almost there I think, I can remember and hear most songs now without the tears coming.

Today, today may be the day. I will certainly try it.