There is an emptiness in me tonight. An emptiness I didn't know was there.
Maybe that's not the right word.
I'm unfocused, unable to concentrate, things that usually distract me seem pointless and shallow and I have no patience for them.
I'm unhinged somewhat. Feelings were resurrected that I thought buried for good, after all, it had taken me more than a year.
No, it's not the same intensity, the same utter anguish.
It's more refined, more suspicious, cautious. More afraid to trust.
But not indifferent, never that.
To have that sort of effect on someone is a huge boost to your ego. To have that sort of effect on someone you have once loved... sigh It's confusing to say the least.
And as it comes it's untenable regardless. Timing and distance and circumstances conspire against its fulfilment. Willingness and personal history are also stumbling blocks.
Que sera sera. Are there wiser words than this? The very essence of serendipity in three short words.