Thanks to my workplace and a lot of hardwork of my colleagues last year we won a great award last year, Cinema of the Year 2009. With it comes not only recognition which is of course most welcome, but good financial reward.
A decent bonus, free of tax, which is not going to make me rich but it can sort out my most immediate difficulties and can set me in very good stead for my near future.
I'm scared, scared I won't make the most of it, that I will not take this opportunity in the best possible way, I know that historically I have not been the best at coordinating my finances.
At the same time I'm excited at the changes I can make, little as they may be. Because those small changes can have a tremendous impact on me, personally and socially it can allow me to express the inner me and allow me to do things and be who I want to be.
So much I have changed in myself and this could be the catalyst to make it permanent,
Which is why the near future could be very bright for me, and it frightens me that I will undermine all that unconsciously by being reckless...
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