RELAPSE

Here starts a transcription of my very short diary that I wrote when I was on holiday in the Algarve, a few weeks back.

I decided to start on day 3, because it is the day that most closely resembles my mood today. I have not been like this for a while, distance has certainly helped in way, but then I have been reading certain past messages and conversations today so...

Anyways, here it is. I promise the other days are altogether more revealing and positive.

BLOG IN ABSENTIA - DAY 3

SIGHING / REMEMBERING / RECALLING / LOOKING AT THE SCARS



It was a good day. I should feel great. I did, actually. The majority of it, I did. It was a beautifully sunny and warm November day. I loved the beach today. The sound of the waves, the seagulls crying above and flying low near the sea. The water wasn't cold, I enjoyed going for a swim. I forgotten how nice it was to just float in the ocean. On top of that, I was really looking forward to watching the football tonight, Benfica playing Naval, it was a frustrating but ultimately succesful game for Benfica and I was very pleased.


Yet... When I came home, I remembered.


I recalled that I am heartbroken, that's the truth. It's been good, the last few days. I haven't even thought about it or her for at least 2 days. But I did today, and it still hurts.


I want to cry but the tears will not come. I shout: "It's not fair", literally.I drink. It does not help. It cannot be helped...

Maybe sleep might...