Why write this blog

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It is a way of giving my other self, my unconscious and perhaps artistic self, a way of expressing itself, and thereby helping me working things out. It is somewhat cathartic in a positive way. :)

06 October, 2010


Don't know if that's the word, I was looking for something more along the lines of torn or undecided but I guess limbo is a word to generalise what my current life us at the moment.

Work - limbo.
Future - limbo.
Love life - limbo.

How come is it that I can make a decision and think it's the right thing to do because otherwise it'll just carry out hurting more and still not be happy with it?

Or by the same token, be really happy despite that decision and glad with some words only for seconds later to feel instantly sad a little bit morose.

Oh the curse of what could have been. The curse of wanting to move forward. The curse of being unable to.

Alas, for that strange little thing called love...

I'm sure it can be blessing but for me...

All it causes me is indecision.
Indelible internal scars.
Heart torn apart.

And for what? A thought? Desire? Pursuit of the impossible? Inescapable conflict is the result.

Yes, conflict. Of emotions. Thoughts and feelings battling each other for a space in the light that is far far away.

How to answer? How to act? How to... be?

Who knows...

Give me a sign.
No, don't give me a sign.

But, no. I cannot.

Can I?...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Anonymous said...

yes you can... (achas que o Obama me empresta o slogan?)

P said...

not quite sure you are quite on the mark at what I was hinting there...