Why write this blog

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It is a way of giving my other self, my unconscious and perhaps artistic self, a way of expressing itself, and thereby helping me working things out. It is somewhat cathartic in a positive way. :)

05 October, 2010

So close

Moments arise perchance in your life that you can later identify as pivotal.

It may even be that on occasion you can be aware of these moments as they are happening to you.

I have had a few of these, and on a couple I was completely aware of their far reaching potential to be agents of change at their very time of being.

I have not had one of those moments today. But it was identifiably a near one.

It has been coming. For a few weeks, if not months and perhaps years. I have been most certainly aware of that feeling, in the background, that something is very wrong that somehow things should not be as they are.

It is a struggle, an inner battle, an unseen fight between the unconscious incoherent feeling of general wrongness and the trivial daily reality of the logical mind.

But on those moments it is as if the field has cleared, the spoils of war are laid bare and all is then clear.

No I did not have of those episodes, but I did have a glimpse of clarity. It did not last long enough to completely overtake me, albeit if a very strong nature. The impulse to act on it was great indeed, and my hand went towards the phone.

My vision clouded again, my will faltered and the impulse did not prevail. This time. I sense it though, the time is coming. Not this time though.

Close, for sure.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Anonymous said...

uuuhhhmmmm? que momento? o que aconteceu? havias de explicar isto melhor...

P said...

For a few seconds there I thought I understood everything and what to do next, but just as I was grasping what that was the moment passed