Following on from the idea that sometimes it is right to do the wrong thing, sometimes it's also damn great to just say fukitol. It's very liberating if not exhonerating, but then in those moments that is exactly what that is about.
It's about throwing responsibility and common sense and discretion to the wind and just do something outrageous and shocking and out of character. Although it is like a perpetrating spiral of which you cannot get out of, sometimes it just feels good to be there.
In the darkness. Wrapped up in yourself and your loneliness. Warding off everything and everyone. Sick of the world, sick of the lack of compassion, sick of it all. It can be like a wall to self protect you against that very world that has caused you the grief and the pain that you feel and caused you to descend into it in the first place.
Yet you want to shout. And you want to be heard. You want to be helped. It's the duality again that can leave you at times paralysed and feeling more hopeless than the grief and the despair and the pain themselves...