The title of the last post was supposed to be let it hurt but I digressed and talked about something entirely different.
Hence, I shall do it now. Some people I know may know where I stole the idea from.
Basically it is this notion, similar to the "wallowing", that sometimes you should not rush with all best intentions to try and fix and cure and repair the hurt.
Sometimes it is best to just let it hurt.
Because there is no cure.
And no cure is better than multiple failed cures.
You just have to take it as it comes and accept it.
It may be hard, it may hurt.
You may not understand it.
You may want to be angry.
And you probably will.
But it will not make a difference.
You just to have to accept the situation and wait.
Being patient is just so hard though, yet, time really is the best of all help.
Some people may deal with hurt by getting distracted and by pretending and by ignoring it. That is just not me, for better or for worse I just have to dig deeper. That is who I am, that is how I deal with it. This "wallowing" of mine is not filled with negative thoughts and sinking feelings. I am not poking at my wound (T!). I am simply looking at it, and see how bad it is, exposing its grotesque features to the light of day, and thereby assessing its condition. Maybe its that I am too inquisitive. Or maybe it is that I am just weird. Or maybe I just do not like to brush it under the carpet.
And so I let it hurt.
For better or for wherever it leads.
I let it suffuse my consciousness for whatever time I need to.
And at the end, I can once again function with some semblance of normality.
As I said before, this time the reality is that it seems to be less a question of hurt and more of emptiness.
Funnily enough, or scarily depending on the point of view, I saw this movie yesterday called Downloading Nancy, and I was surprised at how much I could understand and identify with the character on some levels. Not that I have ever been that radical or entertained such thoughts, but I could comprehend how one could get to that level of desperation and emptiness, that you would do whatever you could to feel. That maybe hard to accept for some people but that is just the way it is. does that make me dysfunctional? Does that means I have issues? Does it make me a weirdo? I don't really care, who wants to be normal anyway?