Why write this blog

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It is a way of giving my other self, my unconscious and perhaps artistic self, a way of expressing itself, and thereby helping me working things out. It is somewhat cathartic in a positive way. :)

04 October, 2009


There are two great words in the portuguese language that have no, or poor translation, in english. They are Fado and Saudade. Saudade can loosely be described as homesickness, but is so much more, because you can feel Saudade of your friends, of good times or that wonderful cake you used to have when you were yound. Fado is much more complex, and whilst as a music genre it often has Saudade as its theme, it can also mean fate, pine for something or a state of being, or even still as I said before, a national identity.

The only English word that I quite like that can comes even nearer to Saudade is Longing. And in its own way is quite ambivalent in its meaning. Not only does mean longing for something that you have had or experienced, like Saudade, but you can also long for something in the future or long for something you do not have. It's like Saudade, but for all spectrum of time, present, past and future!!

And so I long.
I long to not feel sad.
Yes I long.

And so I long.
I long for the day when the emptiness has left me.
Yes I long.
I long to not feel useless.

And so I long.
I long not to feel bad.
Yes I long.

And so I long.
I long for the day when there is no more frustration in me.
Yes I long.
I long not to feel helpless.

That is what I feel.
I feel Longing.
Longing for what in the future I will or could feel.
In the meantime, I feel Longing.

Patience I am told is the key. Waiting also I am told is important, it must be the keyring that hold the keys of patience...

How long can one wait?
How long can I wait?
Can you forever hold your feelings?
Will your feelings hold if not expressed?

How long can one stay aside?
When all I see is hurt with forgiveness?
When all I feel is frustration and emptiness?
Will love and longing hold me together?
For how Long?

Because Longing is what it is, at the moment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Acho que Longing passou a ser a minha palavra preferida.

Não sei bem porque mas agora acorreu-me aquela canção do Variações: Estou bem onde não estou/só quero ir aonde não vou... e portanto estou, sempre, longing!