Why write this blog

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It is a way of giving my other self, my unconscious and perhaps artistic self, a way of expressing itself, and thereby helping me working things out. It is somewhat cathartic in a positive way. :)

23 October, 2009

The End?

So, I got what I wanted. I was told the reason for the indifference. CENSORED  Whatever

CENSORED


What can you say when anything that you say or do always seem to be taken completely out of context, or distorted, or misinterpreted?

CENSORED


If I get nothing, I can give nothing in return, surely. CENSORED . It makes me sad.

I did not want that. I wanted to take Sang's advice and retain the friendship. I really did, because I do care. And I rather have that connection than nothing. But it's got to be two way does it not? How can it work otherwise? Is that just me being too demanding? Unrealistic?

I have just met up with a friend from university a couple of days ago. (a bright day in the dark of the last few) We hadn't spoken to each other in a few years. We hadn't met up for about 7/8 years. Not on purpose, just life took its course. He was in the area and we me up, and it was like we saw each other every day. It was great seeing him again. We've arranged to meet up again, he invited me to visit him. There's a friendship renewed. So I know I am capable of having friends, and real sincere friendships, with varied and different people, all over the world.

So in that respect at least I know I am right, apart from death it is one of the things I am most certain of in my life.

CENSORED


(sigh)

It's sad. It could be the end.

3 comments:

Library girl said...

Oh it's so hard when we feel so strongly for someone and they do not return the favour. Whilst I am loathe to give advice (wait for it ... it's a bit like saying "No offence but ..." when you know you're about to be offended!), I'm going to break the rules. Just. This. Once.

Women are strange, irrascible creatures. At times, we don't want what we have and desire what is unattainable. As hard as it is to do so, backing away gives her(in the immortal words of P!nk)"time to miss you".

Oh I know. So easy to say. Not so easy to do.
Heartbreak is so hard because the scars are on the inside. Best of luck x

P said...

thanks... I'm kinda of stumbling my way through it all

P said...

and by the way, I forgive you your slip up!! just this one time though! :)
yes women really are from a different planet. men are such simple creatures...